Over the next 6 weeks, I’m releasing my most valuable gems about how to get help paying for nursing home care, one new secret about where to get help, and the kind of dangers you might encounter if you do nothing.

Why?

Because I want to help you know where you can find help, and what mistakes to avoid.

I want to make sure that even if you’ve already unknowingly made a “mistake,” there may be things you can do to keep from experiencing huge penalties.

To get an email with each new installment, go to www.LearnMedicaid.com/hammond to enter your name and email. You don’t want to miss out.

- Day 1: You’ll begin to discover how NOT to go totally broke when you have long term care costs.
- Day 1, Part 2: 7 Secrets to Surviving Medicaid Spend Down… and what it means for you
- Day 2: When Medicare no longer cares for you… and it’s sooner than almost all seniors think!

I challenge you to take my e-course, “Don’t Go Broke in a Nursing Home” so that you and your loved one don’t end up unnecessarily out of money and out of options.

On the first day of my series, today, I’m filling you in on how to keep from making 3 Big Money Mistakes that many seniors unknowingly make! Click below to sign up:

www.LearnMedicaid.com/hammond

Before you go on your exciting family vacation to Disney, you’ll check the extended weather forecast. You’ll need to see if the temperature is in the 90’s or in the 60’s. Knowing the temperature helps you prepare.

If the weather heats up during the day in the high 90’s, you’ll pack your luggage with shorts, bathing suit, suntan lotion, and a hat. If the weather remains rainy and cool, you’ll prepare with pants, sweater, and maybe a wet suit or rain gear.

Consulting with weather.com helps you know in advance how to plan for an enjoyable journey. You won’t be caught off guard or left uncomfortable.

When Patricia’s mom developed Alzheimer’s, there was no website or crystal ball to show her how to prepare. Each day consumed Patricia’s energy in caring for her mom. As her mom’s illness progressed, Patricia felt overwhelmed.

In the spring, she moved her mom into a nursing home.

The nursing home expenses devoured much of her mom’s annuities, family savings, and any remaining cash within one short year. After all the assets were spent down, Medicaid covered her nursing home expenses.

At age 68, Patricia’s mom wore dentures, eyeglasses, and a hearing aid. Before dinner, her mom would place her dentures on the tray. Twice within the same year, her costly dentures were accidentally thrown away, burning a hole through Patricia’s pocket.

Three months later, Patricia lost her job in the grueling economy.

Later in the same year, her mom broke her glasses. The added expense to spring for new eyewear squeezed Patricia’s diminishing purse strings.

Medicaid sets limits on its coverage. Under Medicaid, a patient is allowed a personal income allowance of only $30 to $60 per month. Medicaid doesn’t cover glasses, hearing aids, dentures, manicures, or pedicures. It may limit fees covered for dental work.

A patient needs a way to pay for these ancillary expenses.

Unfortunately, when it comes to caring for Alzheimer’s patients, there are no forecasts or crystal balls. You need someone who can help you foresee the challenges ahead.

Most people don’t realize it, but when Medicaid picks up the tab for long-term care, the state does a complete audit on all your expenditures FOR THE LAST 5 YEARS. The state can and does deny benefits for checks written to family members or to charities as gifts.

In order to safeguard money so you have something left to cover ancillary expenses, the state laws need to be followed closely.

Like the weather, state laws on how to protect your family’s savings changes frequently. You need a legal advisor who’s intimate and current with the laws concerning elderly care.

At our firm, we offer a free consultation to figure out how to help you plan. We specialize in elder law so when we look at your situation, we can help you prepare the right legal structures to shield your family’s income and savings.

Call my firm at (913) 338-5713 for your free phone consultation. At the end of the call, you’ll know the next step and at a minimum, we’ll point you in the direction of resources that can help you.

Our goal is for you and your loved ones to have peace of mind and to never be needlessly impoverished.

Communication with your loved one with Alzheimer’s can be difficult.

But you may be surprised to find there are ways to communicate and identify with your loved one’s situation. Let me tell you a story from one of my clients.

* * *

Carla was frustrated. Her husband was becoming more and more difficult to care for.

It seemed whenever she tried to ask him to do simple things, like putting on a sweater when it was too chilly, he refused. She felt that she couldn’t force him, either… he was still bigger and stronger than she was.

I passed along some communication tips to her, and suggested she take a listen to my MP3 featuring caregiving expert Jo Huey, “Caring For and Communicating With The Alzheimer’s Patient.”

She found that with a few simple changes in her communication style, things became less stressful for her and she was able to get him to cooperate more.

* * *

I always appreciate my clients sharing their stories with me.

As roles change between you and your loved one with memory problems, he may not always react well to being “told what to do,” as you direct him so he’s safe and cared for.

Always aim to treat him as an equal, as an adult. Include him any way you possibly can, even if it means asking him a question related to the task at hand.

For example, if you are sitting down together to pay bills, you can ask him which one to pay first, the light bill or the phone bill. He can stuff the envelopes and put the return address sticker and stamp on the envelope. You can go together to the post office or to put the mail in the mailbox. Let him stay involved at a level that is comfortable for both of you.

Talk with him. Let your loved one answer, whether it’s accurate or not. Just nod and don’t argue.

Use a sense of humor. Laugh together when things don’t go quite the way you had planned.

Choose your battles. If you are telling him to take off a layer of clothing and it agitates him, don’t worry about it. It’s not how he would have dressed in the past, but at the same time it’s not hurting anyone.

Treat him like an adult — with respect and dignity. Frequently validate his feelings of frustration and loss. He needs to know you care.

Read books that will help you empathize with what he’s experiencing. Think about how you would want to be treated if you were him.

Try to put yourself in his place: you wake up one morning and the most simple things you could do yesterday, you can’t do today. Things like not knowing where you are in your own home, remembering to go to the bathroom, how to get dressed, how to set the table, how to take the dishes to the sink after meals. Treat your loved one as a person with a disease, not as a “diseased person.”

To find out more about how to communicate gently with your loved one, click the link below to listen to my MP3, “Caring For and Communicating With The Alzheimer’s Patient.”

www.AlzheimersResourceKit.com/hammond/resources/caring.html

This diagnosis of Alzheimer’s is difficult for both you and your loved one. He was independent and now needs help with things that once came easy and naturally.

Give yourselves a break. This is a very difficult situation, to say the least. When things get really tough, step back, take a deep breath, and move forward. Take each moment one at a time, each day one at a time.

I received a call yesterday from a client’s daughter, Mary, whom I have been working closely with.

Mary was concerned.

She lives in another state. Her brother has been doing some of the caretaking for their mother, who lives nearby.

But her brother is feeling too busy and stressed to continue caring for their mother. On top of that, Mary and her brother have different ideas about how their mother’s care should be carried out.

Mary wondered if she should have her mother come live with her, so she can care for her more. She’s finding it too difficult to manage her mother’s care long-distance.

Often when someone is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, there’s a family member around who either by choice or by default becomes a primary caregiver.

But what should you do if your family is spread across the country? What’s best for your loved one if there’s no one nearby who can really help out in the early stages, like Mary?

If your loved one is still lucid and can make — or at least be involved in — her own decisions, discuss this situation with her.

You may want to go to where she lives and talk face to face. While you are there, you will have the perfect opportunity to assess her home situation and determine if you are comfortable with her living there alone.

You can also determine if she could live alone for the time being with assistance from in-home care.

At that point, you can contact a geriatric care manager to look after her in your absence. If this is not feasible or comfortable for you, you may want to look at facilities in her area. Talk with a social service agency in the area she lives to find these resources.

Even if your loved one goes to a facility, you can hire a geriatric care manager to visit her on a regular basis and report back to you. The manager would act as a liaison for you and also as an advocate for your mother to ensure she is getting proper care.

If you still are not comfortable with the situation, discuss moving her close to you.

Decide whether she would live with you or in a facility near you.

If she were to live with you, would she need supervision, or would she be safe alone while you work? If supervision is needed, contact a social service agency to get a list of resources in your area.

In-home care is also an option.

Adult daycare is another, if you have a center in your area. Daycare services include supervision, meals, activities, and socialization. Some provide nursing services. This option would mean she would leave your home and go to a center each day. This could be arranged through the center’s transportation service, if offered, through specialized public transportation, or you could take her and pick her up on your trips to and from work.

If your loved one is at an early enough stage, she can help organize the activities with the staff at the day care, and then naturally transition to more of a participatory role as her disease progresses.

I discussed all this with Mary. “When you talk or visit with your mom, you will get an idea what environment is best for her. Think through your options; run them past a trusted friend. Then make a decision.”

Mary felt much better about it. We even brought her brother into the discussion, and together they decided what was best for their mom.

Issues like these are just part of what we help families work through every day at my law office.

We provide our clients a free phone consultation. If you would like to find out more about how to get help working through the issues that many families face when someone is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, feel free to contact me at (913) 338-5713.

If we cannot help you, we’ll direct you to resources that can. The call is free; don’t miss this opportunity to gain valuable insight.

Who will make the tough decisions for you when you no longer can?

In this post, I want to look at the difference between a power of attorney and a guardianship.

How do those affect you?

In the case that you or a loved one become incapacitated and can no longer make decisions on your own, this can effect you very deeply.

Let me explain.

Powers of attorney for health care and property/financial decisions are a relatively low cost way to decide which family member or trusted friend will have the legal authority to carry out your wishes, if you can no longer speak or act for yourself.

* * *

Terri Schiavo’s http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terri_Schiavo name was splashed across headlines for years for exactly this reason.

Terri didn’t have a power of attorney designating who she wanted to make healthcare decisions for her in the event she wasn’t able to make them herself.

Her parents and husband waged war through years of legal battles… not to mention heartbreak, tears, and hard feelings.

While this is not as common for a young person (which is why Terri was prevalent in the papers), it is often the case that as we age, one obstruction or another keeps us from making decisions for ourselves. Alzheimer’s is one such obstruction.

I have seen families torn to shreds over the healthcare decisions of a loved one.

Don’t let your family be destroyed because you simply didn’t make your wishes known, or appoint someone to make those tough decisions for you.

* * *

If you do not have power of attorney, or if your powers of attorney are not drafted properly and something happens that results in your inability to make decisions, your loved ones may later face costly court proceedings and court-supervised guardianship and/or conservatorship.

A court proceeding is not only expensive, but the person appointed as your guardian/conservator may not be the person whom you would have chosen yourself.

Here’s what you must know: too many people are forced into a situation where a complete stranger is making life and death decisions on their behalf.

Sometimes those decisions are what the person would have wanted, and other times, though the guardian tries, decisions are made that are completely the opposite.

Would you want that for your loved one?

If not, then a power of attorney might be right for you.

To find out more about powers of attorney and guardianships, open your “Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Alzheimer’s But Were Afraid to Ask – Answers to Over 92 of the Most Frequently Asked Questions at the Alzheimer’s Resource Center” booklets and read items 95 to 96.

www.AlzheimersResourceKit.com/hammond/resources/everythingaboutalz.html

Don’t let your healthcare wishes be a mystery to your loved ones. Make them known.

Over the next 6 weeks, I’m releasing my most valuable gems about how to get help paying for nursing home care and one new secret about where to get help and the kind of dangers you might encounter if you do nothing.

Why?

Because I want to help you know where you can find help, and what mistakes to avoid.

I want to make sure that even if you’ve already unknowingly made a “mistake,” there may be things you can do to keep from experiencing huge penalties.

To get an email with each new installment, go to www.LearnMedicaid.com/hammond to enter your name and email. You don’t want to miss out.

- Day 1: You’ll begin to discover how NOT to go totally broke when you have long term care costs.
- Day 1, part 2: 7 Secrets to Surviving Medicaid Spend Down… and what it means for you
- Day 2: When Medicare no longer cares for you… and it’s sooner than almost all seniors think!

I challenge you to take my ecourse, “Don’t Go Broke in a Nursing Home” so that you and your loved one don’t end up unnecessarily out of money and out of options.

On the first day of my series, today, I’m filling you in on how to keep from making 3 Big Money Mistakes that many seniors unknowingly make! Click below to sign up:

www.learnmedicaid.com/hammond